six months of marriage.

Today (or, rather, yesterday...) marks six months of marriage between Josh and I. I realize that in the grand scheme of things, we are still just babies, but I thought I would go ahead and write down a few nuggets of wisdom I have gained in these six months with my bitchy brit, for posterity, if nothing else.
Josh is nearly a foot taller than I. Selfies are a struggle.

//Before you make a serious commitment like, say, getting sealed for eternity in a temple of God, make sure you have spent enough time getting to know one another. "Enough" is obviously a subjective term, as the timeline is different for everyone. For Josh and I, it only took two weeks of dating for us to know we wanted to be together forever. As soon as we agreed our relationship might end in marriage, we talked about things like career goals, parenting styles, how many children we might want, etc.

I have friends yet in their twenties who have already had marriages fail because they weren't honest with each other, or they didn't have the same long term goals. One really big one, at least in my experience, is the issue of children. Some people want a ton of babies. Some people only want one or two. Some people don't want any. Don't assume your partner wants 12 children like you do, unless you have specifically discussed it, and don't ever think they will change their mind later. Because, probably, they won't.

Obviously, there are things Josh and I disagree on, like whether or not Tom Hanks is a good actor (HE IS, JOSH, YOU ARE SO WRONG) or if we want our children to go to public school. This brings me to my next point.

//Learn to let it go. Some things, like family planning, are important and cannot be "let go." Some things you will simply never agree on, and you learn to just avoid the subject altogether. Most things, though, are actually negotiable. It's a balancing act. And it's okay to be the one who swallows their pride, even if you gave up the fight last time. You should't keep score, anyway. ;)

//It's okay if your marriage looks different than everyone else's. I had a really hard time with this at first. I had a very specific set of expectations for marriage based on what I had observed, mostly from TV. TV lies. Every marriage is a beautiful snowflake and what works for Suzy and Joe will probably not work for you. Honestly, the best advice I can think of for marriage is simply not to compare, not to set unrealistic expectations, and to take every bit of advice with a large grain of salt.

Speaking of salt grains, here's mine: I am sooo not a marriage expert, and I am definitely NOT trying to give the impression that my marriage is a magical rainbow. I promise it's not. We're just two imperfect people who love each other a lot, despite our massive flaws. So that's pretty cool.

Happy six months, Joshy. I think I'll keep you.

Comments

  1. I sure miss you! Not sure if I ever told you, but the first 50 years of marriage are the hardest. XOXO!

    ReplyDelete

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