squish.

i only ever write when everything is wrong. i want to record my life when things are right, but i live in constant fear that the "good times" are fleeting.

and they usually are.

or maybe i'm just a hopeless pessimist.

anxiety is kicking my butt. i can't breathe. i feel like an ant under a shoe.  

only everything is in slow motion--i see the shoe ready to drop, but i am still not dead. i'm just waiting, dreading.

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